We found a beautiful home and the seller has accepted our offer. We are under contract and close a month from now. I’m so happy and excited and scared to death at the same time. This is going to be a heck of a ride. Between now and January 1st we have to get through three birthday parties, Thanksgiving and Christmas, an anniversary party and moving. Oh, and the kids will be out of school almost four of those weeks due to Thanksgiving and winter breaks and I have to go back to work full time on December 3rd. I kind of want to close my eyes and not open them until it’s all over. I’m not cut out for this. Or that’s how I feel at least. I use to feel as though I could take on anything without fear and somehow within the last few years my heart has been filled with worry and insecurities.
I’m dreading going back to work full time. I just feel like I’m tapped out and can’t go on like I was and now I’m jumping right back into it. I don’t want to let anyone down especially my family. ESPECIALLY my husband. Working full time and balancing my schedule with the kids and trying to keep the house up…it was just too much. All the kids are really active and all three of them have different schedules. I have to be off work in time to get them from school. I have to pay for before school care. I didn’t clean as much or cook as much. I just feel like I fail if I do and I fail if I don’t. I have a huge lump in my throat just thinking about it. I don’t know how other women do it and if they have the same struggles as I do.
I just need to sack up, buckle down and get-er-done because being afraid is only going to make things worse. I’ll get through this and if I don’t at least I’ll have interesting blog about how I had a nervous breakdown. Speaking of buckling down on things. The hubs and I had a talk about how we are going to cinch up our belts when we move. With that comes a serious budgeting overhaul. We are going to spend all of our saving on this house which leaves us with no safety net for emergencies. Our goal is to build our savings back up asap. I found a lot of great stuff on youtube about budgeting and what’s called the “zero balance budgeting system.” I believe this system is what Dave Ramsey teaches. Since Paul’s paychecks are always different it will be key to write out a budget every pay period. I’m actually excited to start doing this so I can feel like I have control over something when right now it seems I have no control over anything.
Here is a link to a youtube video I found helpful.
As long as we can do this budget together and always try to be on the same page and work as a team. I think sometimes people think when their spouse wants to do a budget they feel deprived or restricted. When I presented this plan to my husband he was very receptive. A huge pet peeve of mine is when I hear the comment, “yeah I can’t buy that soda because it’s not in my old lady’s budget,” or “I can’t get my hair done because my husband says it’s not in our budget.” First of all you should know the budget as well as your spouse. No one should be telling you what you can or can’t spend because you should know the numbers yourself and make the decision for yourself. Snarky comments about spending money will only cause resentment. Plus if you are doing your budget correctly you should have the money for little extras. Maybe not every week but in moderation. 90% of all martial arguments can be traced back to the issue of money. I do not want to be that statistic. Although I make pennies compared to what my husband makes I can still contribute to our marriage by being wise, thrifty, being a diligent manager over my part of our house hold budget and hole heartily supporting the hubs has he puts forth the effort – time -miles to provide for our family.