Things That make you go Hmmm…

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I’ve never considered myself to be a Type A personality. I never thought I was organized enough to be a type A. My heart is always in the right place but things never happen the way I imagined it would. This was until I realized I have spent the last two days planning out my summer with the kids (if I don’t work this summer). I know exactly what movies we are going to, on what days as well as every single pool day we will have and I’ve added up what it will cost. I planned out a summer like this two years ago and it was the best summer because I knew exactly what we were doing on what day.  Last summer I was working and didn’t plan ahead at all and it was a total bust. I missed out on a lot of time with my kids and just felt like I failed them because I didn’t plan ahead.

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So Here I am making their summer binders with schedules of what we are doing…..and it’s November.

So I decided to look up the definition of a Type A Personality. Here is what I found:

“The theory describes a Type A individual as ambitious, rigidly organized, can be sensitive, truthful, impatient, always try to help others, take on more than they can handle, want other people to get to the point, proactive, and obsessed with time management. People with Type A personalities are often high-achieving “workaholics” who multi-task, push themselves with deadlines, and hate both delays and ambivalence.”

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So there you have it. I encompass many of those traits. It makes me want a glass of wine just thinking about it. Although I don’t think it is a bad thing I do bite off more than I can chew – a lot. I make all these plans, sign the kids up for multiple sports camps, art camps, swimming lessons, etc. I do not give a second thought to me or my needs I just do it. I go and go and go and go until I crack. This is what happens last month. After having more than a few anxiety attacks at work one day I began crying and couldn’t stop. Taking the time off has helped but now I’m scared to go back. My biggest pet peeve is saying no to people or God forbid admitting I can’t do everything.

I’m trying to remember if there is anything in the Bible about being an overactive mom but really the only thing that is coming to mind is the story of Mary and Martha. One of my favorite books is, “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World.” This book spoke to me on so many different levels and I highly recommend it.

Anyway, there is a chapter in the book about finding balance in your life. Obviously i struggle with this. I still don’t know what the answer is and I’d like to think I will have balance in my life again one day. Right now I feel like an unstable hot mess. My poor dear husband has so much patience for me.

In the mean time I will keep on keeping on.

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